Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Trouble With Focus

Lately, I've been thinking that I have a problem with focus. I have a whole bunch of games that I have access to and would like to play, but for some reason I just don't. This isn't a problem I have that is specific to video games, and I have a similar issue with books and television, but it seems particularly pronounced in my preferred hobby. There are certainly a lot of factors that lead to this, but the more I think about it, the more it occurs to me that it's not just a problem with me but a problem with games as well.

It's not that I don't have the time. Sure, I've spent a considerable amount of time writing for this site in total, but it's really just an hour or two out of my day, and I don't even write every day. That is far from taking up all of my free time. I think the bigger problem is more subconscious. I spend so much time slogging through games that, generally, aren't much fun, and it leaves me listless in regards to video games in general. It would be nice to blame this lethargy on this one thing, but I'm sure this lack of focus has been an issue for much longer.

This is the part where I blame games for not being as good as they used to. That's not necessarily true. Sure, games are different, and maybe not as many may appeal to me in the same way, but it is also that I've gotten older, and I'm even more of a cynical asshole than when I was a kid. As much as I look forward to HD update to Metal Gear Solid 2 as an excuse to replay it, I know I don't have the energy to dedicate myself to it like I did in the past. I'll be lucky if I collect half as many dog tags or finish half as many VR missions as I did previously. Maybe there is some way to transfar my old save and my old dedication into the new version.

The problem isn't a lack of focus on which games I would like to play. If I couldn't do that I'd have a much bigger problem, fretting over not having time to play the latest flavor of the month FPS, but I know tastes well enough to avoid that sort thing. Still, there are a ton of games that I've started, and I've enjoyed playing, that for some reason I just don't play. I've got a considerable list of games that I intend to finish, and since I've made the list I've made more progress than usual, but I think there are just too many choices and I find it paralyzing.

Sure there are occasionally games that I get really engrossed in, like Deus Ex: Human Revolution recently, but there are a great deal more that I enjoy, would like to play more, but for some reason I just don't. For example, I've played through most of the Ace Attorney games, and I am currently on Investigations, but it has taken me a considerable amount of time to get that far. In spite of the fact that I love the characters, the writing, and the solving of crimes, it has taken me a couple of years to play through them. I just don't understand why I can't just sit down, play a game, and then stick with it and play it again the next day. Maybe I'm just broken. Maybe I should sort that list of unfinished game by order of importance and remove the element of choice.

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